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03:13pm 04/01/2005
  I challenge you all to do the minimum

There are lots who've died, lot's who are dieing, and lots who will die...
Now can you imagine if even half the people in the US would do this minimum what that could do, but the sad part is they probably wont...
Maybe you should...
cried tear: cry for me.
02:41pm 03/04/2004

from ambiance

Take it. Post it. Spread the love.
cried tear: cry for me.
04:06pm 14/03/2004
  There was once this boy,
Who's eyes were like a luminous mirror,
Shining bright right through my soul,
And when he would come around,
My every sense would be heightened,
And when he spoke,
My mind would record every pitch,
And when he smiled,
Everything would melt,
and start again,
And this boy,
I would have given it all to,
All I ever wanted,
Was to see him smile,
Be the one to make him smile,
Indulged in joy I was,
Whenever he was around,
For nothing in return,
I gave him me,
Only now this boy,
Has lost his free will,
Believing things so untrue,
Feelings things,
Someone else manufactured,
Just an illusion,
That covers my image,
With black tar-like thoughts,
Diluding me,
To nothing,
I dimish,
and I'm here,
without that smile,
that I long to cause.
cried tear: cry for me.
with me baby its alright 
01:54pm 14/03/2004
mood: contemplative
more old stuff...

A rose he drew by my name,
My initials he wrote on his binder,
the way he held me in his arms,
the days we fell apart,
the look he carried in his eyes,
the nights I missed him so,
the pawn I used to get him back,
the pawn who used me,
The pawn I went and thought I loved,
the pawn that broke my heart,
the way he stood up for me,
the rose given by the pawn,
the rose he drew by my name.

Ut's easy breaking it off,
It's easy to push then awat,
It's easy doing everything you can,
To show them you're gone,
It's easy to believe it yourself,
It's easy to realize it a year later,
It's easy to stay up each night,
Just thinking about them,
It's easy to smile aboue it,
But it's hard sitting and wondering,
Waiting for the day you can say the words,
and if they'll even matter.

For this I write
to not be known
to not be gloried
to no be unjoyed
For what I write
I make emotion
For what they write
They want commotion
The words don't mean
WHat they should
They're just there
To draw attention
To bring fame
But these words
They are here to mean
It's not the same
For this I write
To not be known
This I write
To be felt.

And the lights they dimmed,
but they're still on,
and in a few seconds,
the lights will grow,
then fade again,
only until you unplug it,
so why you let it stay,
I really don't know,
you say the light has dimmed,
but you know it's still plugged in.

They all seem to have their opinions,
They try to tell me what's right,
half the time they do have some truth,
but the other they dont,
but they just dont seem to understand,
they have never been in love,
like I am,
I cant just say no,
and ignore what I want to hear,
he may be hurting me,
but I love him,
they just cant seem to understand.
cried tear: cry for me.
he was covered with the evening news 
03:31pm 13/03/2004
mood: sleepy
from Freshman year, a project we had to do over 9/11

The Proof
The Bloodshed in order to keep our home,
The freedom that is plain to see,
The sea to shining sea,
The proof that nothing will stop us,
Our Flag.

Moment of Silence
We heard,
And we joked light-heartedly,
About what had happened,
For we had not been directly effected,
As we sat there,
In the requested moment of silence,
The silence cut like a knife,
Though not a word was spoken,
The words were heard clear,
That we didn't know what had happened,
Didn't know what to fear,
At that moment it was just words and pictures,
The silence told us though,
That effects would be great,
And may carry on,
And there's something more to come,
But what shall it be,
How will it turn out,
What will happen to the nation,
We have built our lives about?

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<dear anonymous</u>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

from Freshman year, a project we had to do over 9/11

<u>The Proof</u>
<center>The Bloodshed in order to keep our home,
The freedom that is plain to see,
The sea to shining sea,
The proof that nothing will stop us,
Our Flag.

<u>Moment of Silence</u>
We heard,
And we joked light-heartedly,
About what had happened,
For we had not been directly effected,
As we sat there,
In the requested moment of silence,
The silence cut like a knife,
Though not a word was spoken,
The words were heard clear,
That we didn't know what had happened,
Didn't know what to fear,
At that moment it was just words and pictures,
The silence told us though,
That effects would be great,
And may carry on,
And there's something more to come,
But what shall it be,
How will it turn out,
What will happen to the nation,
We have built our lives about?

<Dear Anonymous</u>
Dear anonymous,
What were you trying to prove,
Why did you try to break us,
What have we done to you,
Are you jealous of our intentions,
Do you wish you could be as true,
Were you jealous of the brotherhood,
Did you wish you were part of it too,
Do you know you made a terrible sin,
Were you aware of the pain you put us through,
Are you trying to make us weak,
Well are you aware,
Aware that we were blind before it,
Aware that we were caught up in delisions,
Aware that now we see,
Aware that we have come together,
Aware that men have died for us,
Aware that even though youre trying hard,
We are like a bird still free,
Aware that from sea to shining sea,
Forever will will be.

<u>Here's To You</u>
Here's to you,
The heroes of my time,
Here's to you the one who went along,
To help those to carry on,
Who planned our defenses,
Without letting them down,
Who walked through the ashes,
And crawled on your kness,
Who bent over backward,
Who the Lord has take too,
Here's to you,
American Hero,
Rest easily.

<u>Ghosts In The City</u>
The ghosts in the city,
Will be out tonight,
The ghosts in the city,
Trying to make things right,
The ghosts in the city,
Whispering in the wind,
The ghosts in the city,
Helping a long lost friend,
Thought the ghosts are there,
You may not see,
May not believe it too,
They don't have to be dead,
They don't have to be young,
From yeasr ago,
Or years to come,
Physical they are not,
These ghosts are ideas,
They are thoughts,
They are feelings,
You cannot see them,
But your heart can,
The ghosts in the city,
The heart of the man.
cried tear: cry for me.
we said when we turned gray 
05:51pm 10/03/2004
mood: calm
Still posting my old stuff... only now it's more recent old stuff... past couple of years...

For the rest of our lives,
we'll be sayin,
"Star light,
Star bright,
where the heck,
Is Mr.Right?"
but screw him,
wherever he may be,
cuz you and me,
are best friends as can be,
so whenever you're down,
and when you're flyin high,
I'll share the joy,
Share the pain,
You be there for me,
and I'll be there for you too,
millions of miles,
or right down the street,
if ever you need me,
just give me a call,
and I will come running,
because you're my best friend,
I'll forever be by your side.

Die A Little
Every time I see you,
and we just walk away,
I die a little,
Every time I feel you so close,
then it slips from me,
I die a little,
Every time I smell you,
Till the scent lingers no more,
I die a little,
Every time I taste your name,
until my lips melt in two,
I die a little,
Every time i hear you,
Listening to your voice fade,
I die a little,
Just to be closer,
would birth me back to life,
but since that aint happening,
I'll die a little tonight.

Sometimes you make me so mad,
that tension rises in my neck,
up to my skull,
my head doesn't hurt,
it feels like it will explode,
the bones tighten,
like they're gonna break,
Then my brain corrodes,
and I can't think straight,
the weight its so heavy,
it just keeps getting stronger,
just scared to have the day,
the weight will tip me over.

Quiet and serene,
Clouds of beautiful color,
Soft winds make all stop.

True to myself
That's what I am
That's what I was
So why did I think
That he was different
How could I ever imagine
That out of all people
He would want me
I guess maybe
For a minute it was true
But that was last week
This week's new.
cried tear: cry for me.
i still dont even know you 
09:49pm 08/03/2004
mood: okay

Rain Waiting
The days we were together,
It rained,
The days we were apart,
It rained,
The rain I wished for,
The rain I wanted,
The rain that took you away,
And now it's raining,
And I'm still waiting,
Still waiting for you to come back and stay.

Why I am thinking about you I dont know,
Why I can feel your touch I'm not sure,
Why I still hear your voice I haven't an idea,
You were that one who was true,
You were that one who loved me,
You were that one who didn't cheat,
You were that one who held security,
There was nothing wrong,
There was so much right,
Then there was that night,
When your love was taken away,
Not by another, but by a circumstance,
But you were that one who I held dear,
You were that one who chased away my fear,
Now I am thinking of you,
But you're nowhere near,
So what happened to you,
And where did you go,
Where are you now,
Will it be so,
That you are gone forver,
Or maybe a day,
But in my heart,
The memories stay.

They don't know, they dont see,
How much he meant to me,
About the time of a year has passed by,
Since he said goodbye,
And he's still in my heart,
Isn't that proof enough,
Noone else mattered so much,
They think it's frivolous,
That it's just another infatuation, But it's not,
They laugh to think, He actually loved me,
But if they'd listen, then they'd see,
He did and I do,
Maybe it was all cut short, But it was on the way,
It was almost to the stage,
Where it would blossom and bloom,
Like the orange tree in June,
That was out in my yard,
The day that was hard,
When he said goodbye,
Now by it I sit and cry.

As Friends Can Be
Thank God for you,
My true and loving friend,
Thank God you're there,
Walking through the end,
Helping me stay strong,
Listening to my pain,
Talking all night long,
Thank God you're you... OOPS!!! I cut if off in my book haha... so don't have the rest of this one until I finally find that huge blue binder with all my writing in it that disappeared!!

Glistening Medallion
It was a fight to be finished,
I couldn't have won,
until I fought to my death,
but somehow I won,
I beat the other half,
an angel came down,
he swept me off my feet,
he warmed me in his wings,
I won the battle,
and the prize was beautiful,
it was a glistening medallion,
hung right on my heart,
glistening medallion,
say we'll never part,
Well in time my angel flew,
I watched him soar out of my life,
never did I think,
he'd actually be gone,
but yet I still remember,
my long, hard battle,
and the prize I got,
my glistening medallion,
will never be forgot.
cried tear: cry for me.
I'll bear that cross with honor 
05:59pm 07/03/2004
mood: happy

Come Back
I still am not sure,
What I did,
To push you away,
I still am not sure,
Why I didn't,
Ask you to stay,
You're what I want,
And what I need,
Now all I'm asking,
Is to come back to me.

Forever Waiting
I've decided what to do,
I'll always be waiting for you,
But until then,
If then ever comes,
I'll go on,
Live my life,
With the others,
But here in my heart,
I'll be forever waiting.

In All Reality
When he says my name,
It's so sweet,
And when he talks that way,
I know what he means,
When he smiles,
My heart melts,
He wants me,
And I want him,
Still anticipating,
For our first kiss,
While this is so sweet,
My heart it lies,
In all reality,
It's you I miss.

Will It?
Our first kiss,
Will it take me back to him,
Or will it set me free,
Will memories start flooding back,
Or will they lose their hold,
either way,
It's all a part of moving on.

I'm getting over you,
I'm tryin real hard too,
You're barely on my mind,
Only if I forget to leave you behind,
I only think of you,
When I think of someone new,
I only get this cold,
When I'm out with someone old,
You may not be totally gone,
But I'm tryin,
I'm movin on.
cried tear: cry for me.
they just blow hearts that ever break they just wont mend without breaking again 
07:12pm 25/02/2004
mood: curious
Old stuff...

this is one of my favoritist!!
I look through the little glass,
and it's me I see,
a thousand times me,
staring straight back,
my eyes they blink,
and my mind it thinks, I think,
Maybe, Where's you,
Sometimes I try to find you in my eyes,
When you're not there,
I turn to the sky,
You're not there,
but your voice flies by,
so I look down at the water,
I see you smile in a wave,
When I reached out to touch you,
I fell in a watery grave,
So i gasped up for air,
And you still weren't there,
I swam ashore,
Thought maybe I'd feel different,
but it's just like before,
So as I stand there,
I look for you in the breeze,
but you're not there,
it's just your voice in the trees,
then I run and I run,
and you'er still not there,
What I did find-
You're everywhere.

Sometimes I'll scream,
real loud your name,
but everything just stays the same,
not movement,
I hear the silent words,
I never said,
You never heard,
One day,
Maybe sometime soon,
I'll see you,
You'll see me,
things wont be the same,
but we'll be together,
for more than just a dream.

The rain will wash you back to me,
The rain will bring you to my door,
In the rain I'll see you,
Forever more.

Are you right around the corner,
Or a thousand miles away,
Up floating by the river,
Or resting by the lake,
Maybe you're out dancing,
Or laying in your bed,
the one place I know you'll always be,
is smiling in my head.

Don't let it be a year
Since you walked away from here
Don't let it be a year
Don't let it be a year.
cried tear: cry for me.
i know your head is turning 
06:24pm 23/02/2004
mood: excited

Beauty Of The Storm
Silver linings
on dream driven clouds
metallic drops
in the thirsty rain
electric yellow
of the lightning strike
the beauty of the storm.

When things get sad,
and when they are looking down,
the storm clouds rage,
with furious might,
hold your breath,
count to three,
and walk through the rain,
when you're sad,
when you're mad,
when you're happy with glee,
you never know how much,
the rain sets you free.

This Free
Here I am
lonely again
want to be free
but there's no fun
in this free.

The New One
The new one,
who I can't stop thinking about,
the new one,
for whom I've got this innocent
crush on,
the new one,
who I can't stop thinking about,
the new one,
does he notice me.

July 4, 2001
Sometimes I'm scared,
I don't wanna wake up and see,
everything I know is slippin away from me,
there's nothing left to hold on to.
cried tear: cry for me.
she's showin me how much I had to lose 
02:57pm 22/02/2004
mood: exhausted
Still posting old stuff..

Mercy said it all,
you hurt me so much,
you had my all in all,
you used my heart,
to play your silly game,
and all the while,
I loved you anyways,
every night I'd cry,
and beg Mercy to the Lord,
that you'd stay with me,
and love me once more,
because Mercy I thought,
would bring you to me,
but now Mercy has happened,
and it set me free.

Thief of love,
you were to me,
you took my heart,
and made it bleed,
hurt and pain,
was all on me,
you left me down,
and cold, and all alone,
my love was stole,
by the thief of love.

Sometimes i just feel,
like the ones I call my friends,
are the ones forgetting me,
at times they seem like they care so much,
and then there are times like these,
where I slip and slide out of their need,
I've never really had people who cared,
I thought now I did,
but I guess I was wrong.

Why can't life stay the sam,
as a small child I faced many problems,
many things that little ones shouldn't know,
all I did was to rely on my mom,
to tell me it would get better,
that it would tunr around,
so I lived happily,
as happy as a melancholy child could,
but now with a good life,
every little thing hurts,
I guess I just never had anything to
hang on to,
and now I do,
so I look back at that little girl,
who was so courageous,
and so strong,
and wish I were more like her.

I am free of the hurt,
I am free of the pain,
my sorrow is lost,
it drowned in the rain,
free from him,
I am free to live,
free from them,
I am free to give,
all my heart,
and all my soul,
to that one person,
who I have ignored,
I am now free,
free to love me.
cried tear: cry for me.
my head so far above the clouds i didn't see 
06:54pm 20/02/2004
mood: energetic
on with the oldness...

Life Happens
Life happens,
when you aren't looking,
when you're caught up in your sad
or happiness,
the things you say,
and places you go,
that's life,
your friends and your lovers,
your enemies and foe,
they're all part of you,
the good and the bad,
the health and the sickness,
every breath you take,
and every move you make,
it's your life,
so live it well.

When I can't go on,
I can't go back,
I can't go forward,
this pain is the worst it's ever been,
you asid you loved me,
well now you proved yourself wrong once
left me with questions,
that will never be answered,
I am starving for truth,
I told myself it was over,
that you wouldn't rule me anymore,
but as hard as I try,
my heart wont listen,
I don't want to want you,
or lvoe you,
or need you,
but I can't stop myself,
it feels like my heart,
and soul,
have been ripped into a thousand pieces,
that are scattered on our memories,
and the only way to piece them together
would be for you to come back,
and unbreak my heart,
I'm trying so hard to pretend that I'm
That I don't still live each day for you,
so when am I gonna believe it,
it's impossible to tear down a brick wall
with a feather,
just like it's impossible to be with you
with my love,
how could I give so much to,
and love so much,
a person who could care less about me,
For once in all the time we were together,
I believed you loved me,
but you proved that wrong,
the song knows it,
my heart knows it,
but you ignore it,
does it feel good for you,
when you hurt me over and over,
does your joy come from my pain,
it kills me inside,
to know that all along,
you loved her and not me,
to know that it was all just a game,
and that I meant nothing to you,
you said no matter what,
you were always gonna be with me,
when the wind blows,
when the rain falls,
when the stars are out,
or under the moonlight,
that you would love me,
like the beat of my heart,
on and on forever,
now you take my beat away,
so are you trying to kill me,
this feeling I can't stop,
or make it go away,
I want and need you more than ever,
but your love,
you took away.

I tried to hate you, but I can't,
I tried to get over you, but I wont,
It hurts so much,
I can't take anymore,
I'm scared,
I miss you so much,
Can't stand to think of the way I lost you,
I feel like I'm dieing,
and it hurts so much.

We look back
and all we see
is the bad
and the hurt
we went through
and caused
but still
I wouldn't trade it
in or away
because the pain
only turns into
experience and knowledge,
I could not live without.

It's so weird,
how I said goodbye,
I thought I would crym
I thought I would die,
but I'm still alive.
cried tear: cry for me.
like a breath of spring she came and left 
08:33pm 13/02/2004
mood: hypnotized

There's always someone you play,
and someone you are,
when you dig down deeper,
or sometimes late at night,

when you're sad or depressed,
they are so different,
the actress has a happy face,
people can't wait to see,
she loves life,
and everyone knows her,
the real girl doesn't know who she is,
is scared,
and has emotions stronger than anything,
even though we don't know it,
everyone always has someone they play,
and someone they are.

Without any help
the provocative thought moves me,
and the lovely feeling swoons me,
but I'm not ready,
the fulfillment and closure,
that love provides thee,
is perhaps the most in the world,
but if it is birthed,
with anything weak,
the where a problem cannot be resolved,
it's just wrong,
and causes nothing but hurt,
so now I feel ready,
and want it so bad,
but love is not love,
unless it brings itself forward,
from what you've had.

Star in the sky,
O star by the heavens above,
star in my dreams,
and star with the power of love,
star hear my wish,
star hear me true,
star please do,
those things that you do.

Higher Ground
Yes I still want you,
and yes I still care,
I tried waiting,
but it's just not fair,
you took advantage of me,
by keeping me tied down,
while you were free,
now I'm unlocking these chains,
that kept me around,
I can't wait,
I've found higher ground.

Believe In You
Even though I've given up,
I still believe that we will be,
Even though it seems impossible,
For you to still care about me,
Just like before,
It seemed you didn't care,
but that was proven wrong,
by your intimacy,
your sweet sweet love,
that I'm still craving,
but to not believe might hurt,
so I'll take the safe road,
and not wait,
but I still believe in you,
because it's easier for me.
cried tear: cry for me.
yeah i like it that way 
11:25pm 12/02/2004
mood: sleepy
and on with the old stuff...

Now that I notice,
that it's always here,
I wonder,
What did I get myself into,
by falling for someone who will
never stay,
after all this time,
these feelings should be gone,
but I still love him,
and it terrifies me very much,
that now I know,
it will never end.

Hate It
I hate it,
I can't stand it,
I don't know what to do anymore,
don't know what to believe,
don't know who I can trust,
it feels like everytime I turn around,
there's another thief in my face,
who just stabbed me in my back,
I feel like I'm going insane,
it's too much all alone,
and it's wearing me out,
I just hate it.

Not Ready
I'm not ready for another broken heart,
I'm not up to living on,
I'm not ready to survive,
I don't wanna cry,
but I can't let go.

I gotta know
Are you gonna be mine or not, I
really need to know, you keep
pushing and shoving, it's tearing
me apart, one minute you say
you love me, the next you'er
laughing at me behind my back,
and I gotta know how you feel,
cuz I can't move forward, or
move out, until I know where
we stand.

When you fall I will be therem
beside you anywhere,
when you cry,
I will be the shoulder waiting by,
I'll be the one talking to you,
when your dreams fall through,
and the one to stay,
to chase the dark clouds away,
I'll always care,
I'll always be there,
I'll always be your friend.
cried tear: cry for me.
yes you left me like a child in the rain 
07:07pm 11/02/2004
mood: hyper
continuing on with the old stuff...

I'm not giving in~ I'm not going back~ I'm just saying that the love we had~ was so strong and true~ you left me and hurt me~ and put me on hold~ I went away and left you~ feeling lonely and cold~ but I am looking past that~ to the love that we had~ you got me through tough times~ all my dreams came true~ and I owe it to you~ you were there for me~ and I never shall forget~ everywhere I go~ the memories are behind~ everywhere I am~ there you are~ so now I'm trying to pay you back~ for all that you have given me~ by being a friend~ as true as I can be~ I'll be there for you~ through night and through day~ I'll help you chase the dark clouds away~ I'll catch you when you fall~ and wherever you are~ I'll be there.

The rose,
Is all closed up,
but when the time is right,
it buds,
its petals opne wide,
to show everything inside,
the roses's beauty is seen by all,
then one day,
the rose dies,
it withers away,
so that's what happens to...
it hides inside,
and when the time is right,
it shines,
its secrets are revealed,
to promise eternity,
the happiness is seen by two,
then one day,
the love dies...

We've worked so hard, come so far,
I keep tuning them out, but what
they're saying makes sense,
or maybe it doesn't, they don't
know, there's more than meets
the eye, and even more that the
mind knows, what the heart
feels, is the only thing for sure,
so now that I'm confused,
scared, and heartbroken, now
are you going to walk out on me,
or are you gonna work harder,
and help me help you, make it out
alive and strong, and in love?

I can't believe I'm ending the one
thing in my life that has even
been close to perfect, the one
love I've ever known, even
though it was all lies, it sounded
so perfect, and I kept telling
myself maybe it's true, I think I
liked the loving blind, better
than loving without.

I can't believe,
I thought I would die without him,
but I'm still alive,
and it doesn't hurt,
when life kicks you in the butt,
you just gotta get back up,
and keep on rollin,
never let something crush you,
hard times come,
and they will hurt,
but so sometimes you fly the highest,
when you have a broken wing,
on the mend.
cried tear: cry for me.
so I'll make this short and sweet 
06:52pm 10/02/2004
mood: hyper
old stuff....

I Try
I try
as hard as I can
To be
what you need
You say
that I'm everything
that you need
that you want
I try
to tell myself
I try
to make
the doubts go away
but they keep coming
I try
with all my heart
to believe
I try
to know
that you're being honest
when you say
that you love me
I try
but it doesn't work.

You've given me so much,
so much that I've needed,
You were my friend,
and now we're more,
more than I could have dreamed of,
I love you and you love me,
that's no mystery,
now it's time,
to pay you back,
for all the love you've given me,
no posession is dear enough,
no money can ever buy,
andthing good enough,
but these lines will last forever,
and so will you,
deeo in my heart, it's always true,
no day will come,
when I'll say goodbye,
those words don't exist,
because I'll love you forever,
forever we'll be,
no doubt about that,
because the end my dear,
is nowhere in sight.

I hope she knows she's the luckiest girl in the world,
she's got him,
he may not be perfect,
but he's perfect to me,
and she can hold him,
touch him, see him,
some times may be crazy,
and some times may be sweet,
but she'll have him to defeat them all,
his love can't compare to anyone else's,
and since she has him,
she's the luckiest girl in the world.
Maybe if I close my eyes,
and get lost in that moment,
when you held me last,
and told me you loved me,
Maybe if I pretend you don't love her,
that you still love me,
Maybe my dreams will become reality.

I'm all that's left of 2 people so in love,
2 hearts that came together,
during a miracle,
that saw it's way through the dark,
that faced so many obstacles,
and overcame so much,
a love so strong,
but that withered away,
it got so caught up,
in trying to be right,
that it went wrong,
I'm the only thing there,
that meant anything still,
I was given to her,
and she couldn't let me go,
now even the love is gone,
and the flame has died,
the memories live forever in me,
time may do it's job,
but love forever shall be held,
inside a small rose petal.
cried tear: cry for me.
if you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance 
03:53pm 09/02/2004
mood: giggly
some more old stuff...

You can shine like the sunlight,
You can brighten up the room,
You can pick me up when I'm down,
and for this, I'll always care,
I will be there for you,
through sickness and through health,
I will try my best,
to help you see your way through
the dark,
I'll be there for you,
and you for me,
don't let them change your mind,
hard times will come,
to where you can't go on,
but I'll put my hand out,
to guide you through the storm,
and when you're flying high,
I'll be right there on the ground,
to watch and see,
to catch you if you fall,
and if my hope is lost,
I'll remember you are there,
because you're one in a million,
and you are my best friend.

I love you so much, need
to hear your voice, can't reach
ya, cuz you're not home, you
say you're in love, I know I
am, but are you with her now,
she's not home, you're not
home, you wanted me to go
with you, but I couldn't, so
did you substitute, her with
me, I love you too much to let
you go, but I can't be second
in line, my whole life I've
been in second place, but with
you, I better be first, or I'm
out of here, cuz I can't live
wondering, if I'll ever cross
that line, and not be the one,
you dream about, because I
can't live in second place.

I'm giving my heart and soul
to you,
I promised myself,
that I'd try not to fall again,
then through all the heartache
and pain,
we're together,
they try to break us,
but we got past them,
and the one's who tried,
to take you away from me,
we got rid of them,
so now I tell you,
just how much I love you,
can't live without you,
you are my everything,
so baby,
don't break my heart.

I'm not giving up,
not giving in,
I will not let the wrong side win,
I've come too far to turn around,
was flyin high,
now it's all crashin down,
I will be strong,
I wont go on,
until the awkwardness is gone,
I can do it,
it will work,
The finishing line's ahead,
The storm clouds will go away,
leaving love and honesty to stay.

Does this mean it's over,
You say you don't trust yourself,
Is it all going to end,
Just because I can't be there,
Do you have to make this choice,
Do we have to go,
Do I have to cry,
Do I have to hurt,
Do you have to leave?
cried tear: cry for me.
play on playette 
05:48pm 04/02/2004
mood: cold
haha some more from like 4th grade or whatever

Kittens playing on the front porch,
just like little kids,
Butterflies flying in harmony,
just as leaves,
carried on wind,
a sprout growing through the Earth,
Bird in a tree chirping,
Nature's takin it's place,
The world is happy.

Killing Me Softly
You kill me softly,
everytime I look at you,
You are my one,
You are my only,
You are my everything,
Baby if you can't accept that,
I guess I have nothing.

True love never hurt you,
True love never hurt me,
I guess,
To be honest I have never loved
except you,
True love is calling,
away in an opening,
For us to come,
True love, do you love me?

(these are no longer ones from 4th grade)

I'm gonna go up there,
and I'm gonna shine brighter
than the brightest star in heaven,
For I have a dream,
A vision,
That no one can take away,
and no one can throw away,
and I'm gonna make it,
I'm gonna show them,
This is the only thing in the world
that I want most,
nothing can stop me,
I'm gonna go up there,
and I'm gonna shine brighter than
the brightest star in heaven,
For this is my dream.

I'm so lonely
and I just can't stand
no one to hold me
or love me
no one ever cares
for once I want
to be wanted
I want someone to care
whether or not I breathe
want someone to live for
I don't want to be ugly
and useless
I just can't help it
I'm so lonely.
cried tear: cry for me.
i havent felt the way i feel today in so long its hard for me to specify 
12:48pm 01/02/2004
mood: restless

The miles separate us,
so much difference in our lives,
the time can really take a toll,
and all that we have known,
many new faces,
many new people,
so many ones,
that try to break us,
we go on,
But no matter the world
between us,
and no matter the new people,
there is always you,
the one that knows the
true me,
the one I can count on,
the one what will always be,
the truest friend.

There's still that electric shock,
that weird thing,
that made me want you so much,
still so much chemisty,
it can't be possible,
that we were meant to be.
haha, now here are some back from 4th grade!

As I sit here,
I think of you,
As you sit there,
Do you think of me,
Starring at you,
Do you want me too,
I know you don't,
You are already taken,
You say you don't,
I say I do,
I really love you true,
we don't agree on anything,
we will never happen.
Everyday on a flowered swing,
I lay,
And there I dream of you,
dream of love,
love so true.

Flower Garden
In the flower garden,
there are roses of pink,
clovers of green,
And I think,
Of dandelions,
Yellow like my hair,
and I love these flowers,
Indiantails ablaze,
As flames blaze,
Tell me why,
Why do you destroy my
flower garden?
cried tear: cry for me.
but it never sank in till that girl got ahold of me 
08:46pm 29/01/2004
mood: sick

You and me were a perfect match,
we were perfect together,
it felt so right,
but like everything,
it had an end,
the epilog is finished,
but nothing new has come our way,
and the world is spinning so fast,
let's just put the world on pause,
stop the clock,
and remove the time,
go back for just one moment,
and hold each other,
I just want to lie in your
arms once again,
no feelings involved,
forget our past,
and just live in one moment,
for old times sake.

She's Not Me
She's not me,
but I wish she was,
so that I could have him,
and he could love me,
like he used to,
and tries not to,
and probably would,
if it wasn't for her,
but she's not me,
though I wish she was.

I keep losing,
just can't win,
I keep trying,
just keep draggin down,
lost a friend,
lost a love,
I don't know what else,
I have to lose,
before I can win.

cold, hurt, scared, sick,

One day you're gonna love me,
just wait and see,
one day you're gonna wake and find,
you're nothing without me,
and what we could've had,
one day you're gonna figure out,
it shouldn't be her,
it should be me.
cried tear: cry for me.